What We Tolerate Becomes the Norm: A Wake-Up Call for Early Childhood Leaders

Welcome😊🖍️

I was supporting a fellow early childhood education leader who was working to elevate her childcare center.

During our conversation, I asked why she had opened the center in the first place. Just then, a teacher walked in late and did not wear the required uniform.

Before I could say anything, the center director turned to me, rolled her eyes, and said: “Well, at least she showed up today.”

That one comment shifted the entire conversation. Without saying a word, she acknowledged the issue but chose to overlook it.

We began discussing why she didn’t address the teacher’s lateness or dress code violation. As leaders, have you ever done the same, letting something slide even though it didn’t align with your expectations?

I know I have.

 Do we allow these “small” issues to pile up until they begin to shape the culture and lower the quality of our programs? Let’s talk about why this happens and how changing what we tolerate can transform our centers for the better.

Identifying the deeper reasons why early childhood leaders often overlook issues like lateness, dress code violations, or other minor infractions is crucial for creating meaningful, lasting change.

Here are Four Key Insights I've Uncovered:

1️⃣Burnout or Overwhelm: Many center leaders are stretched thin, managing staffing shortages, parent concerns, licensing requirements, and curriculum needs. When a teacher shows up (even if they’re late or out of uniform) it can feel like a "win🏆" compared to having no one at all. Leaders might choose not to address it just to avoid more stress.

• Why it matters: Avoiding confrontation might feel easier in the moment, but it sends a message that expectations are optional.

2️⃣Fear of Losing Staff: With high📈 turnover in early childhood education, some directors fear that holding staff accountable will push them to quit.

• Why it matters: This mindset prioritizes short-term staffing over long-term culture and quality. Low standards can drive away your best people.

3️⃣Lack of Clear Systems or Policies: Sometimes, the center doesn’t have clearly communicated expectations or if they do, they’re not👎🏼enforced consistently.

• Why it matters: Inconsistent leadership leads to confusion, resentment, and a culture where mediocrity becomes acceptable.

4️⃣Desire to Be Liked or Avoid Conflict: Many leaders in early childhood education are nurturers by nature. They may avoid addressing issues to keep the peace☮️or preserve relationships.

• Why it matters: Leadership isn’t about being liked, it’s about being respected. Respect comes from consistency and fairness, not passivity.

The Shift: From Tolerating to Turning Things Around:

Start with Reflection🪞:
Ask yourself:

• What’s working✅?

• What’s not🚫?

• What am I currently tolerating that I shouldn't be❓❓

Write down your top 3 issues (e.g., staff lateness, no dress code enforcement, poor communication). This becomes your starting point.

Prepare a message🗒️ for your team:

• Communicate clearly, calmly, and respectfully.

• Focus on solutions and growth—not blame.

• Open with a real-life example, explain why it matters, and how it connects to the quality of care.

Hold a Staff Meeting📅:

• Keep it focused, but firm.

• Set the tone: “We’re not going backwards—we’re getting better.”

• Include staff in the conversation. Reset expectations in writing.

Talk 🗣️About:

• Why rules and consistency matter

• What changes are being made starting now

• How this is about support, not punishment, but that accountability is key

Follow through⏩ with Consistency:

• When someone is late or breaks a rule, address it promptly and respectfully.

  • First time: Gentle reminder

  • Second time: Documented warning

  • Third time: Formal consequence

• Also: Praise what you want to see. Catch people doing the right thing.

Lead🏃🏼‍➡️ by Example:

• Show up on time

• Dress professionally

• Be consistent

• Stay calm and firm, even when challenged

As leaders, the culture of our centers is shaped not just by what we say, but by what we allow. Every time we overlook a small issue; we unintentionally communicate that it’s acceptable. But the good news is: We can change that narrative.

By raising our standards, communicating clearly, and leading with consistency, we build programs grounded in professionalism, respect, and excellence.

Change can be uncomfortable, but on the other side of discomfort is a stronger team, a healthier culture, and a center you’re truly proud of.

Let’s stop tolerating and start transforming; one decision at a time.

Till Next time,

Jen Sprafka📋

P.S. Your feedback helps me grow🌱